Another Try At It

Been A While How Ironic

2010-04-03T15:43:00.002-04:00

Took a look at what I wrote yesterday ... and chuckled ..... yeah it has been a while since I blogged last and it has been about as long since any excitement in the bedroom has occurred. So imagine, the better half smiles and makes a sexy comment about wheres the bun when she see a hard sausage yesterday evening. One might thing that whooo hooooo been a while is about to be over, but then again, she was looking and commenting about some one else on ICUII that seems to say hello with a picture of his hard on, which the better half seemed to respond to.

I know if was just a friend, nothing behind it at all. Just a guy that chats with his hard on. All our friends chat that way with us. But then, it has been a while since the better half has even bothered to make a sexy comment about my equipment yet alone touch it ..... or even look at it for that matter. Wonder how I know she doesn't look at it? Before the holidays, for some reason I thought the better half was thawing a bit and just maybe Been a While might end and on an impulse I manscaped. Sounds stupid doesn't it. Feels even more stupid (and itchy) if it isn't even noticed. I bet she notices when her man sausage friends manscape, bet she even has some thing flirty to say and gets a cute IM or two. I guess I will go back to the Been A While mode, its not so bad, gotten use to it. Maybe I can use the time to teach my dick to type like the sausage guy yesterday cause a typing dick surely would get noticed.

Been Awhile

2010-04-02T19:25:00.002-04:00

It's been awhile, to say the least, still think about blogging....writing thing out, stuff that is up stairs in my mind, things that are on my mind. People that blog say it is good to do so.

Been checking some other blogs recently as well. I don't follow any really, just check some once in a while. Some actually have pretty good pictures on them. You figure out which kinds I mean.

Well, I thought I did well for even remembering how to log in yet alone add some thing. Maybe I will start slow and become a regular blogger....it that is what you call some one that blogs.

Grad Party and Vacation Plans

2009-06-25T16:22:00.004-04:00

You know you've come full circle when you celebrate the graduation of one of your kids. The oldest son has graduated from high school. He's turned into a great guy, a fine young man who doesn't make me like an old man....even though he could probably kick my ass. I wonder what he'll go off and do.....where his path will lead him? What ever it is he, has made me proud and where ever goes will be a better place from his being there. I hope that I have set a good example for him, in some ways I probably have, in many I have probably let him down.

We'll this weekend will be fun, a lot of work, but he is worth it.

Starting two weeks of vacation as well......gonna lay around the pool, drink some beer, work on the honey due list, get a tan and if I get lucky trace the Better Halfs tan lines with my tongue.....just kidding.....as that probably won't happen but it sounded fun. lol

Get Honest

2009-05-18T18:19:00.002-04:00

Life sucks, or the things we have done in our lives leave us with the feeling things suck. Mistrust, misunderstanding, dishonesty, anger, resentment, hurt - yeah life SUCKS.

Job uncertainty, pay cuts, bounces delayed, looming layoffs, incredible stress - yeap life SUCKS.

What's the bright side of all this, it's too expensive to separate said the Better Half - yeah LIFE is going to continue to SUCK - if your not willing to sacrifice for a better tomorrow with or with out me. Take it for what ever you want that to mean. But if that is all that there is - GET HONEST.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot...

2009-04-12T01:43:00.003-04:00

Will I ever learn? Not likely. Every time I open my mouth I stick my big ole foot in it. I don't do it on purpose...at least I don't think I do....maybe I do and am not realizing it. Shit, I dunno. I like to say, most times, what is on my mind. I guess I kind of expect that from everyone else too, but that doesn't necessarily happen. Anyway...like I said, I say what is on my mind and I guess I speak without thinking and usually end up saying something stupid or wrong or out of line. But hey, if I am asked a question...I am gonna answer it with how I feel!! Does that warrant someone being pissed off? I guess. Or not.

Now, why is this a relevant topic to me? Well, for a long time in my marriage, I have spent a lot of years not saying what *I* wanted to say. What really mattered to ME. What *I* thought was right. I did. I think I knew I was doing this, but a "habit" like that is not something you can just snap out of without thinking there is gonna be major repercussions. I said what I thought my other half wanted me to say. I answered questions with answers I figured he would be happy with, how he would want me to answer them. Things seemed to work. Or so I thought. Then I discovered that *I* have a voice, too! Wait a second though.....does what I have to say matter??? Does it count for anything? (Just an aside here - I was like this mostly in my marriage. I have always been pretty outspoken otherwise.) But yes. My voice DOES count. It DOES matter. I am a part of this marriage, too!! I DO have a say!

Yanno what though? Sometimes its just damn easier to not say how I feel or what I want. Sometimes it's not worth the silent treatment or the looks of disgust. I feel myself wanting to revert back to how it was before. Because it was easier. But was I happy? Hell no....but it was easier and it saved arguments.

Sometimes I think I just don't deserve to be happy.

Change I want See

2009-04-09T18:08:00.004-04:00

I read something today, a quote from Gandhi of all people. It's not like I'm reading weird writing from India, but I thought it was pretty cool, or at least to me it means a lot. Gandhi once wrote "We must be the change we want to see". Does that ever ring true.

There are things I want different in my life. I want a better marriage, a deeper love with the Better Half, better relationship with my kids, a better person all around. It's not that I feel I am a bad person, I just know I can be a better person to the people that are closest to me they deserve it. More so now then ever as they have lived with me when I was not being who I really can be. If I want these changes, I have to be the change I want to see. It starts with me, no one else to blame, no excuses, it starts with me, I need to be the change I want to see. I will only see these changes in others when they see it in me. This makes sense to me.

signed the Other Half

Why

2009-04-08T17:18:00.003-04:00

Why is it so hard to work things out when you love someone?

signed the other half

Why the Time from Around the World

2009-04-07T21:51:00.005-04:00

I travel a lot and conduct business all over the place and have people working for me in Germany, England, France, Sweden, Brazil, China, Thailand, Australia, and India (and maybe a few more places, I think I'll be taking responsibility for some stuff in Japan soon) so time is always on my mind. Or the work that fills the time, the questions, issues the To Do's that are not done yet in all these different places. Sometimes, work doesn't end because as I end my day here in Michigan, some one is starting theirs some where else and has questions, answers, issues that need to be tended too.

You've got to love the global economy. The Better Half likes it, the global economy, because it does prompt me to travel and I will be taking a two week trip to Asia next week. It gives her a bit of a break from me, I think she needs it. No, I know she needs it. I'm not traveling as much as much as I use to (cutting back and limiting travel -Automotive is one tough industry right now), so she is long over due for a break from me. I'll post anything I see that is cool/different as I'll be spending a weekend in Bangkok. New places are always interesting and I look forward to exploring it, love Thai food so this should be good. Hey post anything interesting that you might see from the Better Half while I'm gone.....lol.

And yes, I will be returning with an extra suit case stuffed with Coach purses and stuff like that, any requests?

signed the other half

Take a Nap or Get Busy?

2009-04-04T14:15:00.007-04:00

After running around this morning (weight watchers, breakfast, produce shopping, picking up new tags for the car) I find myself debating taking a nap or tackling the long list of To Do's that are always in my head. Procrastination, I hate it. It is something about myself the drives me nuts and I can't seem to over come it. Would taking a nap mean another wasted day, I know I will feel that way if I do take a nap. Today is nice day out, so I should get out there, enjoy the sunshine and feel good about getting something done. But then a nap sure would feel good now..............need to change subjects.

So I go to Weight Watchers. At first I thought, damn I'm a guy and that is woman thing to do..... Wrong, I need help changing my life style, how I eat and I do I like to eat things (note to Better Half - get your mind out of the gutter), not into cookies and cake, but give me a big steak, great pasta with creamy sauce, a good hot bowl of chili.....that kinda of good stuff and lots of it. I just have to learn to eat less good things. So at WW this morning, feeling like, damn, I don't want to be here, this is too hard, I can do this later, My Better Half said something in the meeting. And she nailed it when she said "it sucks".....loosing weight sucks.....your up, your down, some one looses more, and you try and don't loose as much. It's a great way to beat the shit out of yourself with out throwing a punch. But it is something I need to do, just like all the other To Do's. This is one of harder ones as it will take a long time and this past week I've realized, it will never be done. Which is maybe why I was thinking, why bother or tell yourself you'll do int next year when it will be easier. What I mean is, that even when I get down to where I want to be, I will always have to work at it. "It Sucks". I have lost weight, almost 20 lbs, that is pretty good and I need to think about what I've done, not how much more I need "To Do". The Better Half is also loosing weight with me. I'm glad she is helping me as I couldn't do it by myself. It's the procrastination thing, I can always loose it next year, well next year has been occurring for the last 20 years and I have found that the number just keeps getting bigger, that's not healthy and not good for me and this has an impact on those around me. I use to be so much more active, doing things, getting things done, burning off this restless energy inside of me. Over time, I feel I let myself go, to much time at work, not enough time looking after myself, my marriage, my kids, thinking that I can fix it/work on it next year. Procrastination, do what is easiest......I guess I took a long nap and now I find that I have wasted a lot of my life. Maybe not wasted, but missed out for sure. I missed out on loving my Better Half the way she deserved which in turn, means I've missed out on the love she has in her to give to me. It's hard to re-invigorate and do the things that I should have been doing all along. So I need to look after myself better, still eat the good stuff, but not as much, look after the Better Half better and tell the kids I love them.

Back to the nap, not happening, going to go out side enjoy the sunshine and put up the new track lighting in the den so the Better Half can see what she is doing in there .... or maybe it's better she does that stuff in the dark (wink). Besides she just went shopping so I won't be able to get her to nap with me. Dang it and she is wearing that black bra that makes me want to take her up stairs and eat some good stuff.....I mean.....nap.......

Best to go clean up the yard and put up the track lights.

signed the other half

My 2 Cents

2009-04-02T20:27:00.007-04:00

Well, I didn't think the better half would so easily post something. I'm glad she did as she has good things to say and sometimes they are about me. I hope her words come easy and yes once in a while we need to question something the other has said and sometimes we need to just think about it and not read more into it. The adult disclaimer should be shut off as this will not be a porn oriented blog. May be some cute sexy tasteful pics of the better half (she is very creative and good at this) Sorry no nudity here (don't want to scare everyone way) and this is not what this is about. We'll see where this goes as it's "Another Try" at a lot of things, blogging, talking, listening, communicating, sharing, and most of all falling more in love with the better half. This is what it's about.

signed the other half

Coffee and Donuts...

2009-04-01T21:42:00.004-04:00

Hmmm...I am writing the first post here! Whoo hoo

It is 9:45pm and here I sit eating a Krispy Kreme donut and drinking a cup of coffee from good ole 7-11...lol I need either like I need a hole in my head....but hey, both are YUM. :)

So...what to write here. Well, I dunno. I had a blog for years that my other half didn't know of and the words flowed easily. Writing here may be different for me. Will I have to mince my words? Will I have to be careful what I say for fear of being analyzed? Will it be just as easy as my other blog was? Will it be therapeutic? My guess is all of the above. But hey, I will give it a whirl.

Some of my posts may be serious. Others may just be stupid and goofy. Depends of my mood at the time I suppose. If you hang around, you will find that I tend to find humor in most things....since I do believe that laughter IS the best medicine. Well, that and a bottle of wine!! lol